Never Enough by Audrey Halliwell

Author:Audrey Halliwell [Halliwell, Audrey]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: anonymous
Published: 2024-12-16T00:00:00+00:00

The dark room has a chill in the air. I can already sense Alex’s mood. Or maybe it’s just my worry bleeding through. Either way, the sooner I set my eyes on his rising chest and beating heart, the sooner I can relax.

I don’t have to knock because his door is already open. I find him lying in bed.

Alex’s depression is creeping in like a fog, clinging to the corners and swirling around me. Carefully, I inch closer to the bed, observing the silence only broken by the faint rasp of his uneven breaths.

He’s asleep.

Sweat plasters his usual messy mop of hair to his forehead, creating a staggering contrast to his normally cool skin. Even in sleep, he furrows his brow with a permanent crease etched between his closed eyes. It used to be a line that appeared only in moments of deep concentration.

My gaze roams over his body. The sheet, barely covering his thin, toned frame, rises and falls in time with his chest.

Wanting to offer him comfort, my hand hovers over his but doesn’t touch. This isn’t the Alex I know. The kind, loving man whom I fell for half a second after we first spoke. This is a stranger. A ghost of the man I love. This phantom sleeping in his bed is one I met nine years ago.

Just after he’d tried to take his own life.

I’d do anything for him, but I can’t help but wonder if I’m forcing myself upon him. After all, he shared with Victoria that he wasn’t feeling well. Sure, he didn’t tell the whole truth about his depression, but he at least told her something. Something is better than nothing, which is what I got.

I’m not being completely fair because he has tried to contact me, but not about his depression. Even if he doesn’t mean to, he’s putting a barrier between us. It’s why I’m reluctant to open up about my own struggles.

By struggles, I mean past trauma. If I hadn’t spent my entire teenage years in intense therapy, I’d be a mess right now. Hence why I’m so worried about Alex. Not only has he kept his struggles to himself, but as far as I know, he hasn’t treated his mental illness.

A chilling thought takes root. Is Alex with me out of a sense of obligation? It would explain why he’s so determined to keep our relationship a secret. Maybe Victoria is right. Celeste might be his true love, and they’re just going through a rough patch. But if that’s the case, then I’m the villain in his story.

Oh God.

I saved his life, and now he’s under the misguided impression that I … what? Own his soul? I’m keeping Celeste and Alex apart. That’s why he’s been so depressed lately.

I don’t want to let him go. The thought physically pains me. So, for now, I dismiss the inkling and pray that it doesn’t take root. Actually, more than that, I hope it’s not true.

Carefully, I remove my shoes as silently as possible and tiptoe across his bedroom.

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